Last week I was meeting with a good friend and she was telling me about the heartache of a week she had. First, her boyfriend dumped her without warning and without a reason. Then she did not get the lead in the show she auditioned for even with her super promising callback performance. Then she said, “I just thought that with how hard the breakup has been and my rotten week, that the Heavenly Father would have just blessed me with the lead. He knows how much I’m hurting.” I thought a lot about that. And then I thought how it applied to my life.
I have been married four and a half years and I have always been the main and now the sole provider for my little family putting my husband through school- undergraduate and now graduate school. And my work is fine and I have a great boss with super flexible hours I just want so badly to be home with my two little girls. We have applied for every scholarship and payback program there is. And we have been rejected by everyone. The Family Proclamation says, ”mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” That is all I want. To be able to just stay home and be that for my girls. I admit, there have been times I have asked, when what I want most is to just be a mom, can’t the Lord just bless me with it?
But for me, one thing that has helped take the sting out of the disappointment of being turned down time and time again for scholarships and other opportunities that would allow me to stay at home, is a tip from Sheri Dew that I have taken to heart. When I pray for things I always include but if not, please bless me with something better. That way if I am blessed with the thing I asked for I know it is the best case scenario for me. And if I am not blessed with it, I know that the Lord is in charge and He has something even better in store. And it sometimes is really hard. But Elder Stanley Ellis taught in last conference that, “Hard is part of the gospel plan. One of the purposes of this life is for us to be proven… Hard can be good for those who will move forward with faith and trust the Lord and His plan.” And I am doing my best to trust the plan.
Luckily hard doesn’t mean we can’t be happy. After meeting with my friend and thinking it over I wrote her a letter about our talk, how I thought it applied to my life, and how Sheri Dew and Elder Ellis have helped me. I closed my letter with though life is hard it is also wonderful. It is heartbreaking and hilarious. But that is why we have family and good friends- to help us with the good and bad, pretty and ugly moments. I told her how much I love her and that my door is always open for a hug, listening ear, or shoulder to cry on. I also gave her some Rolo chocolate candies, to help remember that she can roll with the punches. Plus chocolate makes everything better.