What I’m about to tell you is something you may have to sit down for. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to sugarcoat it… here it is… there is no perfect guy. Okay, okay, don’t get too upset just yet. Just because a perfect person doesn’t exist, does not mean that there isn’t a perfect guy for you- emphasis on the YOU part. There are so many wonderful guys who have the characteristics you are looking for; you just have to know which ones will bring out the best in you! You can start learning about this from dating, and making note of what types of qualities bring out the best you from different people you date. Before I left for college, my mom asked me to write down everything I was looking for in my potential husband someday. Even if it seemed too far-fetched, she told me to write it down. I remember feeling a bit reluctant since I thought marriage was so far in the future, and I was swamped with packing and figuring out last minute details before leaving home. I grabbed the closest piece of paper (which just happened to have a list of things I needed from Target) and started jotting down every trait I could think of. I folded it up, placed it in a box, and didn’t think much of it.
Later that same year, I met Jake: a handsome, funny, charismatic guy from England that totally changed my life. I knew when I met him that I might be in trouble. When we were about eight months into dating, I knew our relationship was getting more serious, and I started feeling the need for more clarity. At the time, I moved to a different apartment and had to pack up my old room to move to the new one. As I was packing, I found a box I hadn’t opened in a long time. Inside, I found a folded up piece of paper I vaguely remembered putting there, so I curiously unfolded it. It was the list my mom told me to write. I started reading the bullet points, and every single attribute I had written down matched Jake. Every trait, characteristic, and feature of his aligned with what I had written down. It was a bit eerie how everything I had hoped to find one day was wrapped up in one human being. (I even wrote on my list that an accent would be a bonus! Who would’ve thought!) I am so grateful I made that list because it reminded me of what I valued most in finding the perfect person for me. If you are searching for your perfect guy, or are deciding if he is your perfect guy, then I suggest making a list. It only takes a few minutes, and you never know just how handy it can become! Finding that person could take days, months, or years, but with a better understanding of what’s most important to you, it will be a whole lot easier!